The Hotel Robbery

Being a police dispatcher was the hardest job I've ever loved. There was generally balance. As many funny/humorous things happened as serious things. One of my favorites was the hotel robbery.

We are coming to the end of a Saturday night shift. It is now about 5 a.m. Sunday morning, and the shift ends at 6 a.m. for the officers, 6:30 a.m. for the dispatcher. That overlap helps with a smooth transition of pending calls. The Sergeant, a young officer, and I are the only people in the station. There are three more officers on the road.

Ours is a small town and our police department doesn't even look like a police department. In fact, it had originally been a medical clinic. There are wash basins still in place in the offices for the Detectives.

So when the phone rings, I pick it up on the first ring. An elderly male, in a shaking voice, says:

"Robbery (location given) Hotel."

Holding my hand over the phone receiver, I relay that information to the young officer. He leaves the station.

"Tell me what the robber looks like.", I say.

"He's a man from India, wearing a long Army coat, and a blue stocking cap."

"Does he have a weapon?"

"He hit me on the head with the phone receiver. He took it with him when he left. He stole money, rolled coins, and cigars from the display case. It took me a while to find another phone."

"Did you see a car?"

"No."

I key the mic, transmitting to all squads that we have a strong-arm robbery, (location given), and the suspect is a "Man from India, wearing a long Army coat, and a blue stocking cap. Vehicle unknown."

About this time, the Sergeant is standing at the Dispatch office window. He's pointing to the lobby. Walking into our small police department lobby was "A man from India, wearing a long Army coat, with a blue stocking cap."

"Whadda you want?", says the Sergeant to the man.

"Gotta match?", was the reply.

"Wait right here." says the Sergeant. (The Sergeant, who had removed his gun belt because the shift was ending now heads to his office to put it back on.)

In the meantime, I am discreetly broadcasting:

"All squads, I believe the suspect is in our station lobby."

And, sure enough, here comes the young officer walking into the door right behind the suspect. This officer had passed the suspect as he left the station. However, at that time he didn't have a description. He had traveled a short distance before the broadcast went out. He threw the squad into reverse and backed up to the station. He's saying:

"Put your hands on the counter where I can see them."

This man, under the influence of alcohol and drugs, stole money and cigars from the hotel. He had the cash and rolled coins in his pocket. He wanted to smoke one of the cigars he stole, but he didn't have a match.

We were one of the few places open at 5:30 a.m. on a Sunday morning. And we didn't look like a police station.

New Family Member

I have a new Great-Grandpuppy. He arrived this week after much negotiation between father and daughter.

My son writes: "His name is Taz, as in Tazmanian Devil. He's nine months old. He's a Puggle - 1/2 Pug and 1/2 Beagle. He was supposed to be house trained, but he must have forgotten his training on the way home. He's had a couple of accidents in the house already. We picked him up on Friday and we've had a steady stream of visitors ever since. Other than the accidents he's been very good. He doesn't bark, doesn't chew the furniture and listens pretty well. You'll have to come and see him soon!"

So I haven't met the little guy yet, but think he's adorable. My granddaughter has a smile that measures from ear to ear. Did you ever notice how happiness spreads?

Welcome, Taz!

Yoga

I'm home this morning from my one hour "Silver Sneakers" Yoga Class. It's held at a local fitness center.

I'm a member of the fitness center at no cost to me because I have a very wise insurance company. They provide a free membership to the insured.

I think this insurance company is very smart. Certainly it must pay off for them in the long run to have me stay healthy.

My hat is off to my Humana Insurance Company. How long is it going to take for other insurance companies to get this smart?

The Oneida Tribe of Indians of Wisconsin

I had the distinct pleasure of working for the Oneida Tribal Police Department from 1995 to 2000. It was an eye opening experience. The Oneida are a Matriarchal Society. They honor their elders. (As an old lady, I couldn' t help but believe I was in the right place at the right time.)

These "People of the Standing Stone" have a reverence for Mother Earth that could be a lesson for all. Their elementary school is built in the shape of a turtle.

Using Native American architects, the Police Department is built into a hillside. The entire glassed front "Great Room" is a community gathering place.

From Wikipedia:

The Oneida Tribe of Indians of Wisconsin is a sovereign nation, enjoying the same tribal sovereignty as all recognized Indian tribes in the United States. Theirs is a limited sovereignty —the tribes are recognized as "domestic dependent nations" within the United States—but to the degree permitted by that sovereignty, they are an independent nation outside of state law. The tribe's sovereignty means the state of Wisconsin is limited in the extent to which it can intervene legally in tribal matters.

With a series of casinos near Green Bay, Wisconsin, the Oneida Tribe has, in a manner of only a few decades, gone from being a destitute people to enjoying a fair amount of social prosperity by investing a large portion of their profits back into their community, including a sponsorship of the Green Bay Packers.

The new wealth generated by the tribe's gaming and other enterprises has enabled the tribe to provide many benefits for the members on the tribal rolls. Oneidas have free dental, medical and optical insurance, and they receive $800 every October. As with all other tribes, the Oneidas define who qualifies to be on those rolls. The Oneidas' requirements are fairly liberal, based entirely on blood quantum: members are those with at least 1/4 Oneida blood. There is no additional requirement of matrilineality, as with the New York Oneidas and other tribes.

I love the sincerity of the people I met. Sheko:lih (A friendly greeting used upon arrival or departing.)

Domestic Violence

I don't know how to put a big problem in a few words. When we talk about domestic violence, the tendency is to think in terms of the extreme, death.

Domestic violence begins small and escalates. It may take years to reach the extreme. It is progressive. Learning the early warning signs is a must for every man, woman, and child.

Domestic violence doesn't just mean husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, or intimate partner relationships. It can mean any household arrangement where living quarters are shared. Daughter/Mother, Father/Stepdaughter, College roommates.

Many incidents that are outside the law are the beginning of domestic abuse:

Punched walls, financial control, lying, intimidation, isolation, fear, shame, criticism, broken bones, forced sexual contact, manipulation, sexist comments, yelling, rages, harassment, neglect, shoving, screaming, jealousy, possessiveness, coercion, slammed doors, abandonment, silent treatment, rape, destruction of personal property, unwanted touching, name calling, strangling, ripping, slapping, biting, kicking, bruises, punching, stalking, sabotaging attendance at job or school, brainwashing, violence to pets, pinching, deprivation of physical and economic resources, public humiliation, broken promises, ridicule, restraining, forced tickling, threats to harm family and friends, threats to take away the children, threats to harm animals, threats of being kicked out, threats of weapons, threats of being killed.

Lee Borden, Attorney, says:

"This is Not Just About Men Beating Up Women. Some of the most painful messages are from men who have been terrorized by their wives. It' s real: violent women sometimes keep their husbands in a state of permanent weakness and frightened vulnerability. In addition, gay relationships involve violence far more than most gay rights advocates wish to admit. And when these terrorized victims muster the courage to ask for help, the police, lawyers, and judges they ask for help often don't take their plight seriously.

That having been said, most perpetrators of dangerous domestic violence are men, and most victims of dangerous domestic violence are women. In the U.S., a woman is battered every 10 seconds. More than a third of the women treated for violent injuries in U.S. emergency rooms have been hurt by their husband or an intimate partner.Male victims of violence are more likely to be injured by a stranger than by someone they know. Female victims of violence, in contrast, are much more likely to be injured by an intimate partner than by a stranger.

Each day in the United States, about four women are killed by an intimate male partner.A woman is five times more likely to be assaulted in her own home than on the street.A great deal of violence in the home is neither constant nor random. It occurs in a defined cycle. If this is the pattern in your home, understanding the cycle can help clarify what makes you a victim, and when and how you can get help to break the cycle.

Escalation

The battering episode

The honeymoon"

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Having been involved with law enforcement for 23 years and a domestic violence agency for 5 years, I have witnessed the impact of this cruelty. Victims suffer in silence. Fear keeps the victim in line. Suffering is not required if you love someone. Things you need to know to end the cycle:

The perpetrator is not doing this to be mean. They may not even know why they do it. It's about power and control. Domestic Violence escalates. It doesn't get better. Without intervention, it gets worse.You are not alone. You are not the only one affected by this. It's not your fault.

As you seek information, cover your tracks. Delete any web references to helping web sites. Use a public computer if possible. Getting friends and family involved may backfire on you. Find the people in your city or town (or neighboring town) that have the information you need.They will understand.

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St. Patrick's Day

I'm not Irish. As a matter of fact, I'm one hundred percent German. But I married Irish. That was a mistake. (Sorry, just kidding.)

I soon discovered that the biggest holiday of the year is St. Patrick's Day. I got a green corsage on St. Patrick's Day the first year we were married. My new hubby, under the influence, blarney'd the florist to open up after hours so he could buy the green corsage.

Full of the "spirit", he wanted to take me out dancing. He was so outrageous in his behavior, (I was the shy one), I refused to dance with him. Didn't bother him a bit. He danced with a chair. Everyone in the place knew we were there and "we" were Irish!

The world's largest St. Patrick' s Day parade takes place in New York City.

Innocence

I need to find my innocence in order to see yours.

I grew up with guilt and shame. Some of it came from my family. Some of it came from my church.

Even if I was trying my hardest to do it right, I could find a flaw. I would find it in me first. Then I would find it in you.

My perfectionism is in direct proportion to my feeling "imperfect" inside. And so, it became necessary to put on a front. I can do this with clothes, beauty products, even education. I can do it with attitude.

I'll want you to think I'm someone better than I am, smarter than I am, more industrious than I am.

Looking back, it puts a barrier between you and me. I can't get close to you for fear you'll see right through me. I'd have to drop the pretense.

My joy today is that I can reveal my shortcomings. I can rejoice in my human-ness. I can love and forgive myself. I can love and forgive you.

We are all innocent.